in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
