My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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