I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
