She announced her abortion via fbk
please come you make the beer taste better
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
