i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
