I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
