I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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