My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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