Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
