you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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