How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
