Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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