she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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