I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
