i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
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I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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