just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
