It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
