literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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