I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
