i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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