I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
