Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize