My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...