She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up