well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.