Duck Duck Cougar?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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