Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
