On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
