Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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