Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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