Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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