I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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