I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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