I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize