just come out here and I will go home with you...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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