You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
