I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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