love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
