No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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