I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
