I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
