you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
