You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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