In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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