I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize