Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
only if we run a train.
done.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
