nut hugger
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
