Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
