A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
