You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
