I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
