When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
