Someone shit on the floor
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
