Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
