so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
