shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
