I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dignity is for republicans.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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