you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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