did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
