Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
