I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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