turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize