so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
