I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
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we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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