I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
