We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
smell my finger.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
