Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
