sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
