Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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