I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
