Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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