If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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