Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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