so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
