Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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