yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
